I thought I had a good enough handle on my 'I’m not good enough' belief until I started my own business, and whoosh, it came screaming back.
There are days when I believe in my own ability; but it can be hard to remember those moments of positivity when I feel self-doubt, when I feel like an impostor, or when I’m sure I won’t ever quite measure up to the amazing success of the other women entrepreneurs I watch and admire.
Most of us are worried about whether we’re good enough, especially women.
We feel it as being nervous, anxious, shy or we experience it as other feelings, but the core is a universal fear and self-belief that we’re not good enough. As a result, we create layers around ourselves of who we believe we need to be vs. who we really are, and the gap in between is how we experience ourselves, through a lens of ‘I’m not good enough’.
Brené Brown says in her book: The gifts of imperfection – “I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn’t change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging”. It’s time to find the courage to connect into the real you.
Here are 7 ways to change your focus and get out of the imposter trap.
You are whole and complete - right now, and exactly as you are. There is nothing to fix in you. Every belief you have about you is made up. So ditch the negative one and make up another one that has you be good to great – so you can focus on progress, not perfection.
Learn to have self-integrity. The fastest way to increase your self-esteem is to follow through on the promises that you make to you.
Take the to acknowledge you, even for small things. Develop a ritual of asking yourself every day: what three things can I acknowledge myself for today? Learning to love yourself will be the greatest gift you can afford yourself.
C.S. Lewis was smart to point out that humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less. We have a tendency to put too much focus on ourselves and let our egos get in the way. As a result, we feel self-doubt or another negative emotions. When you focus on others your perspective about you will change.
Create a path for yourself that excites you and make a commitment to grow and improve from there. Do what you’re good at and what you enjoy.
Stop having to get it completely right before it’s good enough. Focus on being happy rather than being perfect – it’s much more fun.
Define your own standards of success rather than trying to meet someone else’s expectations. Rather than look at the best in others and compare it to the worst in yourself, instead model others who have the results you desire.
Remember, your choice of focus will always determine your experience. If you knew that you could handle whatever work had to offer, what would you attempt or endeavour to do?
The biggest predicator to your career success is your ability to connect into your authentic self, connect with others and create open networks. Are you ready to become a Connect-IN leader? Find out how why in my latest White Paper. http://tonicourtney.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/White-Paper-Connect-IN-Leadership.pdf
Toni Courtney empowers leaders and teams to fast track their leadership and performance, and prepares leaders for starting new roles, accelerating within current roles, or getting role ready for a step-up position. Contact Toni at firstname.lastname@example.org or visit www.tonicourtney.com
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